Where is the Love?

I’ve been lucky. I come from a very loving family. My husband is amazing and a great dad. Even my ex is a truly caring dad. My kids are the most amazing, loving, compassionate people. I am so proud of the young men they have become. I like to think I have great taste in friends, as some have turned out to be impeccable human beings, but the past few years, it seems as if hate is everywhere. I don’t remember this kind of vitriol before then, perhaps the advent of social media is enhancing it, but more and more, people are angry, hateful, selfish, hypocritical, self righteous and judgemental.

I am a blocker. I may not unfriend people whose posts are negative, insulting or toxic, but I do unfollow, mute, or whatever social media’s answer is to “not see” the hate. Every now and again someone deeply disappoints me. Disappointment is that sensation that you feel when you thought you knew someone and instead you realize that you didn’t know them at all. When their every move and every word is about how they hate this and that or they’re anti this and anti that and never a word is uttered about LOVE, nothing good can come out. NEVER.

Of course, the example from the highest office of the land shows us and gives us the “OK” to call people ugly nicknames, lie incessantly and be and say horrible things behind a computer screen. When you give the example that it’s ok to vilify people of a different party, call immigrants “terrorists”, demonize the poor, destroy the environment in the name of profit, take away healthcare for millions, not care about people with pre-existing conditions, deny Climate Change, give billions in tax breaks to the wealthiest, steal Supreme Court appointments, treat LGBT citizens as “abominations”, and treat women as second class citizens trying to keep them subservient by denying or/and take away their rights, while ignoring their obvious racist, misogynistic, and white supremacist ways… it seems like this country is going backwards and you and I live in completely different realities.

I am just about sick hearing how helping the poor means they become entitled and that not helping them is actually helping them. What? This way of thinking is just an excuse and justification for being uncompassionate, judgmental and self righteous, a reason not to learn about the real life about those in dire situations, and instead using a broad brush to color everyone in need as leeches who love “freebies”. It’s really quite disconcerting to me how hateful people have become. We need to love more, judge less and help those in need, we need to replace anger and hate with compassion, unity, love, and fulfillment. Telling someone to find a better job, for example, comes from a significant vantage point of privilege. Are there lazy people out there? I am sure there are, but taking the time to learn their story will make you understand what issues they might have that you do not or could not understand on your “I am holier than thou” podium.
I mean… we don’t have to be best friends with everyone, but at least show kindness and compassion. Good Grief.

I am a health care voter. I believe that no one should die because they cannot afford health care, and no one should go broke because they get sick. For too long Healthcare in America has been owned by insurance companies (big businesses for PROFIT) which are more controlling and manipulating than any Government entity. I did some research when I wrote my book “Butterfly Child“, and this is an excerpt with the results from that research:

Insurance companies deny many claims, mostly because only 30% of people will appeal the denial. Since 70% of their subscribers are easily deceived or intimidated, there is no reason for them to comply with the rules of the policies they sell. Apparently, morality and responsibility are not part of what you purchase when you buy insurance. Their main responsibility rests with the stockholders, and they make tons of money denying needed things for the people that pay their premiums. I am part of that 30% that appeals the denials, however, only a portion of those that appeal get their decision reversed. I chuckle when I see commercials that state “In the Business of Caring”. Insurance companies hire the most shrewd lawyers to not only make sure they win when sued, but also to write finely crafted wording in their policies so they can hide behind them as to better be able to refuse treatments. It is the lovely state of health care in America.

The main difference between insurance companies and a public health system, is that the latter would try to provide coverage for all and not just the wealthy or those that can afford premiums. I find it really ignorant how people think socialized medicine would be worse or how they don’t want people to get it for “free”. It’s actually not “free” at all. Instead of paying a premium to the insurance company, you would pay a tax like medicare on your paycheck. The difference is that you would get health care whether you have a job or not, and you will never head to bankruptcy court because of medical bills, you know, like I did, twice, despite the fact that I always had insurance. The medicare tax would be a lot cheaper than your premium because there is no “profit” involved, which means the hospital will never charge you insane amounts for a pill. I was looking at my husband’s hospital bill for 4 days when he had a stroke in 2009 and it totaled $24,000!!! He had no surgeries, just a couple of CAT scans, misc tests, was connected to a machine 24/7, took pills, some doctors came and talked to him for 10 minutes & had some hospital food. Insane or what? There is no “overcharging” patients with a public health system, that’s why your tax would be a LOT cheaper than your insurance premium. Plus, it saves a lot of money to treat a condition before it becomes a huge problem, doesn’t it? That’s another reason why making sure people can see Doctors beforehand can be a true moneysaver.

But it seems as if those in charge right now do not care. The lack of love and compassion coming from the Republican Party to me is mind blowing. Here’s another excerpt from my book on how health care should not be a party affiliation ideology:

Incurable diseases have nothing to do with party affiliation or ideology, and everything to do with our humanity. What if your child suddenly became injured in any way, or was he/she born disabled, would you be able to look at him or her in the eye and say that research on the best hope for recovery is “illegal, immoral and unnecessary” as Senator Brownback stated?
How often the most uncompassionate people are those untouched by illness, by misfortune, by pain? Unless it happens to you, unless you experience it on your own skin, on your own child’s skin, awful illnesses and conditions like EB will continue to be forgotten. The suffering will continue. As Christopher Reeve stated in his book “Nothing is Impossible”, we cannot legislate compassion. The majority of legislators who support research have an emotional connection to the issue. How can we ask someone that is not directly affected by disease or disability to imagine what it might be like? Because of advocate celebrities with a connection, many conditions such as Parkinson’s and Cancer research have made progress. However, ninety million US citizens suffer from a broad range of chronic illnesses. Is it too much to expect that they will be seen, heard and understood? Don’t they deserve the comfort of a supportive community?

I could say I learned compassion from seeing my son being discriminated against, by his medical needs being denied, but while I have always been compassionate, having a son with EB has taught me that there are truly a lot of caring people out there. Those that don’t, sometimes just don’t know how to show it. Those that don’t care about people in pain need to get out of politics. That’s how I feel. We do not them to determine if my son should live or die.

I choose to see the good, the kind and the best. I choose to stand tall. I choose to be better. I choose truth.

Love & Light,

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