October 1997 – Nicky, 11 months old standing up on the couch. He was so excited! Following is an excerpt from the Book “Butterfly Child”. This happened right around the time this photo was taken: “A few days later, in the evening, Nick and I were watching “Wheel of Fortune” when Nicky out of the blue started throwing up serious amounts of blood. It was a lot more than the previous week; it was a scene out of a horror movie, there was blood everywhere. I was shaking as I was holding Nicky, unable to even remotely think of what to do next. Nick picked up the phone and called 911. Within minutes we had several firemen in our living room, which moments later transported Nicky and I to the ER in an ambulance while Nick followed us with the car. The most distressing aspect of going to the ERRead More →

There comes a point in your life, usually with age, in my case at least, where you need to reclaim yourself and not put too much weight on what other people think or what our society deems acceptable. I now 1000% know who I am and I came up with these rules for to reclaim myself. Can you relate? 1. PEOPLE’S OPINIONS. I’ve heard enough negative opinions about myself since I was a child that if I let that dictate my daily mood I would be in a pool of tears every single day. No, thanks. I learned that negative opinions have more to do from the person giving them than the person getting them anyway. I prefer to surround myself with positive people. People that care. 2. ABOUT MY EX. I know I should hate my ex, but I don’t. Sorry. We’re still friends because it benefits my son.Read More →

Nicky’s inner strength is something I deeply admire. There are times that he still surprises me with his wit, the way he thinks and the way he handles things. He’s such a loving, deeply interesting boy for those that care enough and are lucky enough to get to know him. He suffers greatly as well though, and that fact can never be ignored. I took the following pictures this past month to give everyone a small glimpse of what his skin looks like under the bandages. He’s part of the SD -101 cream trial (http://ebstudy.com/) so if you think his wounds look better, it’s because they do. This is his right arm. It’s looking fantastic. I know, I know, it still looks painful, but considering how it looked like before, say a year ago, there is a big difference. This is his lower back. This area is harder to wrap becauseRead More →

There is a unique kind of grieving that special need parents live with every single day. Yes, we like to live our lives as normal as possible, but then, SLAM, something happens that reminds us how fragile our children’s lives really are. True enough, my Nicky is beating the odds, he’s very much alive and ready to fight and I am ever so grateful he is, especially since I have so many friends who have experienced the loss of their children, and since I have buried a child myself, I know exactly how that feels. I want to delay that horrible fate as much as possible, while continuing to hope for some kind of treatment to come along. That does not change the fact that my hopes and dreams I have for my child die a little more each day as I watch him struggle to just survive. When Nicky was fiveRead More →

June 2001 – Nicky, 4.5 years old @ Stanford just before his dilatation. Following is an excerpt from the Book ‘Butterfly Child’ Chapter 9 “One of the things that turned out to be very frustrating about the move was finding a new Pediatrician. After much research I took Nicky to the first appointment and let’s just say this woman was a complete disappointment. Not only she was quizzing me on the minutiae of his care, which made me feel defensive and guilty at the same time, but also she knew absolutely zero about EB – not a surprise there – so why is she telling me I “overwrap” my child? How would she know? She also refused to refer Nicky to Stanford to see the EB Doctor for him to get the dilatation he needed. I felt so disrespected that day, not only as a parent, but also as anRead More →

Please keep Nicky in your prayers… I am a little frazzled this week but I hope I can explain myself better than my mental state wants to allow. One of the nasty side effects of RDEB is that the scarring does not only appear on the outside of the body, but also in mucosal surfaces, such as the eyes, mouth, throat and esophagus. When Nicky was only a wee bit lad (I am watching too much British/Scottish period drama, I am starting to speak like them!), I noticed that swallowing was particularly difficult. So difficult, in fact that it would take him a few hours to finish a bottle. By the time he was 3 years old, I needed to put a towel over his pillow because overnight he would soak it with his own saliva. Solid foods, or even mushy/baby foods had become an impossibility from the time he threwRead More →