March 2001 – I was thinking about this picture just the other day when we were driving back from Stanford and I was so happy to find it. Isn’t Nicky cute? “Casa De Fruta” used to be just a big fruit stand, now it’s a mini-amusement park, complete with a restaurant, rides and tons more, between Gilroy & the San Luis Reservoir. We almost always stop, it’s on our way! Nicky here was wearing his little soft slippers, back whenRead More →

If there is a sentence I hear a lot from family and friends in general is how “strong” I am. Before the stillbirth of my first baby, before the miscarriage, before Nicky’s birth, I somehow thought that strength had something to do with “grin and bear it”, or having somehow the ability to have no qualms or uncertainty of what to do or how to handle a variety of situations. But strength, I found out, has nothing to do withRead More →

Every person in the world has known heartache and suffering. Sometimes I think about the children with my son’s condition that live in third world countries, or countries like Syria, ravaged by war. There are so many people on our beloved planet that do not have the basic necessities, water, food, clothing, let alone bandages and medicine. At the core we’re all the same, we all want the same things. From the Quechua woman in Peru to the famous actor inRead More →

September 1997 – I love this picture of 10 month old Nicky with his dad, if only because of those BIG blue eyes! His poor mouth was in bad shape, he had already stopped eating baby food at this point and could only ingest liquids. On occasion he could chew on a cracker, but it was a rare occasion and I would only attempt at giving it to him if his throat looked like it could handle it. Our firstRead More →

Minnie Driver is probably my favorite actress nowadays. A few years ago she tackled a subject near and dear to my heart by portraying a mother who had a stillborn baby in “Return to Zero“. Her performance was simply phenomenal. She totally nailed it. Her character’s  experience was also fairly close to mine, and there is truly something to be said about watching someone on TV feel what you felt. It’s hypnotizing. I am a very “visual” person anyway, so thisRead More →

Caregivers are selfless and do what they do because they love the person they care for, most often without monetary compensation. If you know a caregiver and want to show your appreciation, here are some ideas: Encourage him or her to relax by a gift of bubble bath items Pay them a sincere compliment Take his or her kids to the movies or out to the park for the afternoon Don’t compare their life or their loved one they areRead More →

December 2008 – Nicky in his Mecca! He was 12 years old in this picture at a GameStop at the Antelope Valley Mall. When Nicky was 4 years old I bought an old SuperNintendo so I could teach him to play Mario Kart; I loved that game! I thought that this is something he could do to entertain himself. Before long he got very good and to make sure he won I used to sit in 2nd place with aRead More →

Feel free to save them and share! To save the bigger version of the image, click on the image first to load it, then right click to save image. But in this lifetime, my purpose is my son. My purpose is to raise awareness for this awful thing we live with every day. “How are you still smiling?” he asked me. I admit I didn’t know how to answer. “Because I don’t want to cry” is what I told him.Read More →