Nicky’s in Charge

The other night I was changing the bandages of Nicky’s lower back and to my dismay, in the attempt of healing the area, the opposite happened. It’s now worse than it’s ever been. The whole area is a BIG open wound. Ugh. It’s always a shock to me that I can even do this. Before Nicky was born I was an absolute wimp, who could not watch my own blood being drawn. Amazing what we learn to do out of love for our children. WIth his lower back now a bloody wound, my heart sank. Because of that, I resolved to make sure to use my concoction on it as well-I haven’t because this is an area veryRead More

Inner Strength

Nicky’s inner strength is something I deeply admire. There are times that he still surprises me with his wit, the way he thinks and the way he handles things. He’s such a loving, deeply interesting boy for those that care enough and are lucky enough to get to know him. He suffers greatly as well though, and that fact can never be ignored. I took the following pictures this past month to give everyone a small glimpse of what his skin looks like under the bandages. He’s part of the SD -101 cream trial (http://ebstudy.com/) so if you think his wounds look better, it’s because they do. This is his right arm. It’s looking fantastic. I know, I know,Read More

Freedom From Suffering

I cling to the hope that someday in the not so distant future I will know what it means to see my son being free from the daily suffering he endures. In the meantime the only thing I can do is continue to spread awareness. I am not a millionaire nor a scientist. I can’t donate oodles of money for research and I also do not have either the skill nor the expertise to research how to actually find a cure for EB, so I must support those that do and continue my quest in getting this disorder known. The truth of the matter is that with enough money a cure will be found. There are now enoughRead More

Updated Wound Pics :-(

As I posted yesterday, wound pics generate a barrage of negative comments on Facebook, they usually end up being reported and deleted, which is why I don’t post them there anymore. It’s just not worth getting banned over them when I can just post them here. This is EB-more specifically, Recessive Dystrophic Epidermolysis Bullosa-Severe Generalized subtype. This is what my son has. I know very well how upsetting these photos are. They upset me greatly. However, what other way is there to fully explain the condition? I haven’t found another one that is this eloquent. There are no real need for words. I have some photos of his arms that are even more disturbing to me than these,Read More

EB Still Surprises Me.

One would think that after 18+ years, nothing about EB would surprise me anymore. Well, it does. EB still manages to shock us at what it can do and how it manifests itself. Last night as I was taking off a bandage from Nicky’s upper left arm, it looked as if an infection (pus) was setting in a wound-but not in the usual way. Normally the pus (I know, yuk, but EB can be just majorly yucky) fills up a blister, or it colonizes a wound, but this time it was different. It looked like it managed to infiltrate itself way under the skin somewhere, so the pus had to be “squeezed out” of this little hole. WTF?Read More

EB Sucks

I updated my Caringbridge Blog today (here’s the link–> http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/nickyz/journal/view/id/554ba814f02065dc3614f506) and I also posted a photo on my Butterfly Child Book Facebook Page and I talk about the pain and suffering that Nicky endures. It’s not easy. EB sucks. It’s been two years now since I had to start giving Nicky pain meds basically 24/7 and to me it’s a shock he didn’t need them all day before. He always needed them for bandage changes, but never at any other time. I always asked him what was his pain threshold, and as I write in the book, sometimes I am convinced his body is reacting differently about pain than a regular person, simply because his body is so usedRead More

Infections Beware!

On our first trip to Stanford, back in August 1997, Dr. McGuire told us something that would forever be etched in my mind. He told us that the #1 enemy and the #1 reason for the demise for children with RDEB was infections. To say he scared me to death in one sentence it’s the understatement of the year. Not only he confirmed his RDEB diagnosis, but also mentioned the word ‘death’ and ‘infections’ in it. Fantastic. This was about 17.5 years ago, at a time where the only information I could get about RDEB was from books, and they were vague. Children with RDEB were (and still are!) rare, and any Doctor I saw back then treatedRead More

Nicky’s Legs

Here’s the photos I promised yesterday when I updated Nicky’s CaringBridge Blog. Once again, I don’t post these lightly. I cringe a little. But there is truly no other way to show people what EB is. To understand EB. I want people to understand why Nicky is in so much pain. Photos is the only way to show the cruelty of of his condition… Recessive Dystrophic Epidermolysis Bullosa. What you see here is his left foot. His ankle (not shown) was one of the areas that was hurt as a baby and it’s basically always raw. The top of the foot here is very prone to being scratched and is almost always an open wound. The ‘white’ residue youRead More

Here’s The Latest…

Nicky’s having a rough time right now. Just when he was able to clear his throat by chocking up a piece of skin-not a pleasant thing, since now he has a wound in his throat that needs to heal-he is now dealing with a big piece of skin torn from going #2. It’s always something. I promise to do a blog at Caringbridge about our trip to Stanford sometime this week-I can never find the time. This is the only morning I have this whole week to do ‘stuff’ and all I did is take care of this blog while I helped Nicky doing various things. Which is why my poor book is written in 15 minutes hereRead More

Under the Bandages

As many of you know, I don’t post photos of Nicky’s wounds on Facebook because they’ve been deleted many times because people “report’ them. I’ve been blocked and my account has even been suspended by my intent to simply show what EB is. People are disturbing and can be quite mean-to say the least. I don’t deal with that well. This is deeply, DEEPLY personal to me. My intent is not to shock or exploit, I would like nothing better to fade into obscurity and live my life as I like and see fit, but my child suffers daily and I can’t make it go away. My wish is to educate and spread the word that this isRead More

Nicky’s Left Leg & The Deal With Walking

As per Nicky’s wishes, I am posting a few pictures I took a week ago of his left leg/foot. He’s been trying so hard to start walking again. Doctors and others have treated him as if it’s something so easy to walk, his EB team wants him to go to rehab, something he sooooo does not want to do (you can read about that at his CaringBridge Journal October entry). He wanted me to post these pictures to show what he’s dealing with. Let me give everyone a brief summary of what’s been going on with his legs and walking since he was born. I will try to keep it short, promise! Nicky didn’t start walking well onRead More

If I Knew Then What I Know Now…

I was changing Nicky’s gauze last night, once again being amazed of how much certain types of gauze helps or protects Nicky’s skin and I wished the myself of today could not only advise the me of 16 years ago, but actually hand over the supplies to do it. If I could, Nicky would for certain be better off today. No doubt about it. I can’t even begin to describe the horrible shape I was in when Nicky was born. I am writing about it in my book and I shake my head in disbelief. The various Insurance companies refused to cover bandages for over a decade. The bandages themselves were… sad. All we had to work withRead More

Wound Pics

I just noticed that I haven’t posted any ‘wound pics’ of Nicky in a while, so I picked about 4 that I took in the past 2 months. For those that are unfamiliar with my son’s struggles, he was diagnosed at birth with EB-short for Epidermolysis Bullosa. When he was a mere month old he was further diagnosed via skin biopsy with a rather severe form of this condition called ‘Recessive Dystrophic’ (RDEB), one of the rarest, more severe and more lethal forms. How rare? How severe? How lethal? According to the latest statistics, about 3 babies in a million are born with RDEB. Both parents have to be ‘carriers’ (and do not have the condition) and asRead More

Dear Blisters, Please Go Away…

I normally do updates on everything ‘Nicky’ on his blog at Caringbridge, and I do try to post there at least once a month, but sometimes I feel it’s a bit constrictive. A lot of my storytelling includes photographs and I am unable to post photos over there. Well, you can post ‘some’ photos, but there are limits. You can only post one per blog and it shrinks it down to a minute size. There is also a limit of 100 photos per blog. So if it’s a post that involves photos I do it here. Yes, I could do it on Facebook, but I refuse. Facebook has deleted way too many EB wound photos and even blockedRead More

Post-surgery pics

Once again I am forced to post these pics on my blog instead of, say, Facebook or caringbridge due to Facebook’s constantly deleting my wound pics and caringbridge not really giving me much space or a way to clearly display these. The detailed blog about the cast removal is here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/nickyz/journal Below is the hand carefully re-wrapped by the PT ladies after the cast was removed. He has a splint under to keep the wrist straight and the hand open.   Below is the hand unwrapped. The thumb may not look like it’s way out, but it’s quite a bit more out than it was, Nicky is absolutely thrilled. The index finger is not where we were hoping, but it’s better than itRead More

Nicky’s wound/hand pics

So, silly me… I wanted to have a ton of pre-surgery pics of Nicky’s hand, but I messed up. Nicky wanted his ‘left’ hand done so I took several photos of that hand, but then two weeks ago he changed his mind and decided to do the right one and I never did take good, proper pics of it. The right hand was in slighter worse shape than the left one. While the left hand still has a mostly straight index finger, the right hand did not. Beside that, both hands were in similar shape, as the thumb was webbed toward the palm of the hand and the pinky completely webbed in the hand, so much one couldRead More