The Hard Work of Being Hopeful

Society as a whole is filled with nice people. I met a ton of these kind people, whose heart is filled with kindness and generosity. But I don’t live in a bubble. I know some people are cruel. I know there is hate in this world. I know there is racism, bigotry, prejudice, misogyny, homophobia and discrimination. And while I encountered this cruelty in my life before my children were born-and stillborn, I just didn’t know how real it was until I became a special-needs mom. I am a little weary taking Nicky anywhere with me-a simple trip to Target can be filled with long stares, ugly looks and whispers. It’s unconscionable, but that’s how it is. This isRead More

Mental Struggles

Every three months I have an appointment with my psychiatrist and I strangely look forward to it. He is not a therapist per se, we do talk about my mental struggles, but I do not spend an hour blabbing about my problems. I say “strangely” because before my appointment I am forced to do an inner assessment of why I am feeling low lately so I can accurately explain myself to him. I am not used to explore my inner feelings, I have to force myself to. I am not used to try to figure out why something bothers me, but one thing is for sure, it does help to put things into perspective and get an outsider’sRead More

You Can Thank Me Later

On my last post I talked about Insurance Companies and the hell they put me through the past 17+ years. I also explained why they bother me so much-the endless bills they do not pay or refuse to pay when they should, my two bankruptcies, and the simple fact that they are making our life harder than it already is. Having a medically fragile child is not for the meek, you have to be prepared to do and fight things on a normal basis that make you more a nurse than a caring, loving mother. We have to do things no mother should have to do. All I should do is hug my child, soothe, explain and love,Read More

Should it bother me?

I have to admit it. Through my trials of the past nearly 18 years, not much seems to bother me anymore. I am amazed at the thick skin (pun intended) I’ve developed over the years. I chuckle daily at the things people complain about on Facebook or other social networks, and I know I learned a lot and have come a long way from the teenage girl whose ego was easily bruised. I strive to be the gal who does not care about what people think, what people do, how people behave, but when it comes to my children, some things I just can’t shrug off so easily. But maybe, when it comes to my children, it shouldRead More

What is the American Dream anyway?

“Everywhere around the world, they are coming to America”… that’s the words of a song  by Neil Diamond which always pulled at my heartstrings. America always enticed me, and while I never planned to live here per se, the idea of adventure, success and fun was always synonymous to it. I grew up in Europe, Italy to be exact. I never realized how different growing up there was until I now compare my son’s childhood in the US with my nieces and nephew back in Italy. There is no comparison. Apples and Oranges.  I can’t even say that one is better than the other, it all depends on what is important to you. Having lived in both places, I haveRead More

Ways to go…

I was adding a few things to the book I am currently writing about Nicky’s life, which is nowhere near done and I was stunned when I realized I already wrote almost 200 pages, and I have 10+ more years of stories to go. These are not 200 pages filled with overly descriptive anecdotes either, no mist over the window overlooking a tree with owls that made me realize the secret of life, ha ha, these are 200 pages of hard hitting reality, love without measure and life with EB. I wonder how thick this book going to get as I keep remembering things and add life stories beyond 2002. I love to write, it’s almost  part of me toRead More

Worth Reposting

In late October 2010, a little over a year ago, I put my heart on a sleeve and vented. My opinions are not those of a politician I chose to believe, or handed down by a parent, since my parents never talked about American Politics and I had no idea how my dad felt about politics until recently; my parents live in Italy BTW. My opinion does not come from a TV channel, newsprogram or a newspaper I chose to believe. My views and opinions come from my PERSONAL experiences. It’s truly as simple as that. My life. Period. I remember vividly when Clinton became president. I couldn’t yet vote, but I wasn’t happy. I had been aRead More