Blog · May 21, 2012

Choosing Gratitude

The day before the tragic events of 9/11, my family nearly avoided a tragedy as well. My mom was recovered at a hospital in Italy and she was not doing good. In the next few days we almost lost her. She started bleeding heavily in the middle of the night and she became unconscious. By the grace of God, a Nurse checked in on her in the nick of time and found her in a pool of blood. The amazing Italian Doctors worked feavereshly to save her, they even got drugs from the US to get her better, she would stay in the hospital 2 months before going home.
I was emotional to say the least about the whole thing. Of course I couldn’t talk to her, she was unconcious and then she couldn’t speak at all for sometime, so my dad and my sisters would fill me in all the details. I was so grateful. My dad was a trooper and always took the time to talk to me for hours upon end to tell me what was going on.
At the time, just after 9/11, TV stations had non-stop coverage of the tragedy in New York. People were crying and I was a basket case. I had just lost my job, but somehow, someway, I scraped enough money together to go to Italy to see her and let her know I loved her. I was thankful she was alive, that’s all it mattered. That’s what a daughter does, right?

Love, gratefulness. Some things in life should be easy, common sense. The rules are easy enough: if you appreciate someone, tell them. If someone does something for you, be grateful. If your life would be worse without them, let them know. If the life of a loved one is enhanced or even saved by someone else, be appreciative of them. Why is it so hard to say “thank you” nowadays?
I am so very grateful that my close family members, my husband, my kids, my sisters, my parents… in trying times they have been fantastic. When my son is so appreciative of a new toy that keeps kissing me and thanking me for a week-wow, it just makes me love him more, if that’s even possible. When my husband tries so hard to do things he can hardly do just to lighten the load for me-that’s love. When my sister comments on a blog I wrote, telling me that she misses me so much her heart aches, that’s all I need to know to understand her love for me. And, of course, my parents, my dear parents, who, at every phone call they tell me how amazed they are for all I do without any help, and how my dad stays up at night thinking about me and worrying about Nicky. I have to count my blessings, but I wish there were more people that displayed gratitude or could be nice enough to offer a kind word every now and again. It truly does not take much, and it would make such a world of difference…

In the past few years I’ve sent wedding gifts and baby gifts-I did not expect a thank you note and I didn’t get one. I am actually surprised when I do get a Thank You card! That says a lot, doesn’t it? The amount of Xmas cards I receive has dwindled to, maybe, 10. I send emails with information or photos that never get answered. I used to take time to personalize tags for people who would never even reply to me. I used to spend hours writing blogs so family members would know what’s going on with my son or husband (which I still do to some degree, just for my records mostly), just to be disappointed how some people were so busy thinking they “knew” what was going on, they would be mad about things that didn’t happen… ohhh… if only they had *bothered* to read, they would have know better!! For goodness gracious!

That’s just the way it is. I choose to be grateful to the people in my life who are there for me. They Rock! The others, if they care enough, they will come around. If they don’t, that’s all I need to know. In the end, you win some, and you lose some. In life, you can’t make everyone love you or even care for you, no matter how hard you try. At some point, we must realize when the war is lost and stop fighting battles that are never going to be won, instead choosing to be grateful for those in your life that are there for you, through thick and thin.