It is my sincerest hope that now that people are experiencing what I’ve experienced for a couple of decades being “stuck at home” with my son, they will no longer say or imply insensitive things to me such as “you’re so lucky”, or believe is a “luxury” or “must be FUN”. The truth is, it’s not a “vacation” not to be able to go to work and it certainly has made me feel like a failure over the years for not being able to have a career. I even had people say I must be “lazy”. Lazy? Let me tell you how “lazy” I’ve been in my life. By the time I was 24 years old I was the manager of a Domino’s Pizza store and had 30 people “under” me, with dreams of becoming a franchisee. I would end up winning awards and managing various stores successfully. I evenRead More →

Haven’t written in a while. 3 months to be exact. This new year started and it knocked me out cold. At first it was Nicky’s wounds. They were BAD. The word “bad” doesn’t even give it justice, they were ATROCIOUS! So, I spent a great deal of time researching, googling, I couldn’t think of anything else but help my son. Then Connor started swimming, so I was his Taxi to school, to swim, to karate etc and I decided I was going to practice the piano every day while I was waiting to pick him up. I put all my focus on that. I had fun, but it was getting hard. When the hands do very different things it’s just… aarghhh. I have to practice the same piece a thousand times and I still can’t get it right. So, now I took a break from it. Will pick it backRead More →

One of the big differences I noticed between the me before I was a mom (and a special need mom at that) and after is how I started isolating myself. And how I find myself still doing it. Aside calling my parents once a week, I never call anyone. Ever. Oh yes, I return texts (my favorite mode of communication), but aside that… calling… ugh. It’s like pulling teeth. I dread it like nothing else. I didn’t start to isolate myself willingly, it was a process. At first it was others who would say the most insensitive things to me, leading me to not wanting to call or email them. Not having anyone to talk to that could understand what I was going through was the hardest thing for me to deal with at the time. Until I got used to it, I kept it all inside, then I wouldRead More →