Blog · November 21, 2014

Thanksgiving Blues and Hopes

Yesterday was a particularly tough day for Nicky, and I don’t know if I am getting old or what, but I am still tired from it. We woke up at 5am, left by 6am, drove into Los Angeles during the morning rush hour (never a good thing) which made our trip twice as long as it should have been (3 hours instead of 1.5), then proceeded in having Nicky do hydrotherapy. For those unfamiliar with this, it’s just a pre-medicated ‘good’ bath. A bath where nurses inspect and clean every wound and where the Doctor comes in, checks things out, swabs some wounds and then I completely re-bandage him. Then we drive back home in a rush for an hour and a half so I can pick Connor up from school at 2:15pm. When I got home I took a nap, and Nicky slept the entire drive home. He was beyond exhausted and is in a daze even today. To do an entire body bandage change is beyond energy draining.

IMG_0055 (3bwblog)

At times I think back when he was little (not quite 4 months old in this pic above) and it seems to me right now how it was so easy in comparison because of his small size, yet at the time EB was so fresh and overwhelming I felt nearing a nervous breakdown any minute. Time and patience have brought me a long way. I have a sense of peace about things that is hard to explain sometimes.

Today at Nicky’s school it became apparent to me that Nicky will most likely not graduate High School this coming May. He is already a year behind his peers, not that it matters. He only has to take 2 English classes and 2.5 electives, but the ‘Senior’ english class he has to take is truly overwhelming for me to even think about on how to help him, let alone him being done real soon with it. He will be done with the curriculum well before May 2016, as a matter of fact, he will probably be done by next fall, but that means he cannot participate in the graduation ceremony until May 2016, as they only have one ceremony per year, no matter ‘when’ they are done with the curriculum.

Nicky was not happy with it, and that’s of course understandable, but then I reminded him of the ‘dream’ I had, the dream I actually have had for him that I truly believe in. For years now, many years, I had this conviction that Nicky would ‘walk up’ the podium to accept his Diploma. It’s not a nighttime dream, it’s basically a conviction, a vision, call it whatever you like it, all I know is that it’s a certainty in my mind. If he was to graduate this coming May, he would not be able to walk up. The first phase of the skin grafts have to be on a flat area, which he wants on his forearms. But by the time they start phase 2 next fall, they will be able to graft larger areas, including bendable areas, like his hands, feet, knees etc. Nicky’s first wish was for his feet and knees, in that order. So, of course, by May 2016, he WILL be able to walk up the podium to accept his Diploma!

Thinking positive, and most of all, Believing. It’s the Law of Attraction, right? I believe that whatever I want, I really want, WILL happen and the universe, the source, God, whatever you want to call it, will conspire to make it happen somehow. Nicky got a big, huge grin on his face. Blues turned into Hope.