I was inspired to record a video about how my coping techniques are for Depression as a Special Need Mom. Depression is NOT a bad thing, it’s natural. We wouldn’t be humans if we didn’t feel sad or hurt over our children’s suffering. But we have to rise above it and learn some coping techniques to make sure we can move forward with love in our heart. I will try to do more videos as inspiration hits! Make sure to click the subscribe button and the “bell” for notifications! Enjoy! Love & Light, Post Views: 157Read More →

What I am watching The fact that I was going to watch The Spanish Princess on STARZ was a given! This is basically the “sequel” to “The White Queen” (about the life of Elizabeth Woodwille, wife of Edward IV) and “The White Princess” (about the life of Elizabeth of York, daughter of Elizabeth Woodwille, who married Henry VII). These are all historical novels written by Philippa Gregory. The Spanish Princess is Catherine of Aragon, first wife of the infamous Henry VIII, son of Elizabeth of York. The episodes center around her arrival in England to marry Henry’s older brother Arthur. When Arthur dies months after their nuptials Catherine schemes to marry Henry to maintain her previous status of future Queen of England. While I did love the show, I still think the original White Queen was much better, more “intense”, so to speak. Nonetheless, five stars! I remember clearly whenRead More →

It’s often a full time job caring for a child who is medically fragile. We are not only parents; we become nurses, therapists, chauffeurs, companions and more. For some of us, the needs of our child are so time consuming that working outside of the home becomes impossible and impractical. Thankfully, certain cities, counties or/and states realize this and help. Many children with disabilities receive support, and as their parents it is our responsibility to fill out the mountains of paperwork and jumping through the bureaucratic hoops to get them services, and sometimes it’s hard to even find the support. I wrote this in my book Butterfly Child: It is amazing to me how remarkably difficult it is to locate the services that do exist. Hunting for resources can be an experience comparable to being in a labyrinth. Here I was, thinking California didn’t care about the disabled, and IRead More →

“I no longer feel the need or want to keep living 😞😞 I don’t feel strong anymore…” That sentence, if ever uttered by Nicky, is my greatest fear. He has never said that, but he’s come close to it enough times to throw me in despair. It’s the type of emotional bleeding that occurs when a parent truly understands their child’s medical fragility. We know very well that the unexpected can and does happen, that our children are vulnerable. It is a grieving awareness, an in-your-face understanding of a bitter and unimaginable reality. All I ever wanted was for Nicky to be happy. Being happy though, in my book, it would mean that he’s in the least pain as possible, and lately that is simply not happening. It used to be that I craved for Nicky to get some sort of interaction outside these four walls. I thought that wouldRead More →

When my son was born there were no research trials, no further treatment of any kind. No pills, medications or hopes to be had. No one can prepare you for having a rare child. It’s a lonely place to be. I am a special needs parent. I got this. When I feel grief wash over me, when I am tired of fighting, when I feel isolated or exhausted, I can almost hear another special need mom telling me “you got this”. Some people are just toxic. Don’t feel guilty for taking them out of your life. If they don’t care about you enough to return a message or say something nice and only spew hate, let them go. You’ll be better for it. So much in life is out of our control. If there is nothing I can do to remedy the situation, giving myself a heart attack solves nothing.Read More →

The contradiction of it all is that parents of special need children find their strength not truly in themselves, but through their love for their child. If this election cycle has taught me anything is how to raise my standards. I see people go so low it’s disgraceful. If any of us are going to be able to raise above and become better versions of ourselves, the work is within.  My tear ducts spontaneously go on overdrive when I remember that beautiful, horrible day that I held my stillborn baby. Mothers of stillborn babies like myself don’t want anything crazy, just for everyone to recognize this as the profound loss that it is. I can go most days without a single thought of Alex, but this unspeakable loss is “there”, woven in my psyche in ways impossible to accurately describe. Many of the things I do to keep Nicky healthyRead More →