Blog · October 13, 2016

Raise Your Standards

I am a very spiritual person. I grew up catholic and I have attended service at many different churches from many different denominations, mostly to satisfy my curiosity, so I am very well aware of how incredibly sensitive this issue of religion is.

Your beliefs are important and they should never be belittled nor should you ever be questioned about them.  It’s because of this that I am just very surprised when people start “bragging” how they prayed, and their illness either vastly improved or even disappeared.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I do not think it’s bad to be thankful, nor I think it’s impossible for any prayer to get unanswered. As a matter of fact, gratefulness is incredibly important and I do believe in miracles. What I have an issue is when people in general point fingers at others, and especially at parents of children with special needs or to others who have an incurable condition, implying that apparently they are not praying enough or their condition would be gone.

Many times they don’t truly say it in such a direct way, they instead use comparisons. And of course these comparisons are neither fair nor accurate. Would you tell a parent of a child with Down Syndrome that they are not praying enough because if they would it would go away? Of course not. Somehow though, the genetics of Epidermolysis Bullosa are always dismissed. And especially the ones of Recessive Dystrophic EB, as the condition gets worse with age.

I wrote about this issue of God in my book… here’s a direct quote from it:


I indeed had a mom many years ago blaming me because apparently her daughter was doing better than my son because she prayed more. Of course her daughter had a different version of EB as my son, a combination of Dominant & Recessive, so not a very fair nor accurate comparison, still, very rude in my view, extremely uncompassionate. Why the comparisons? Is it really okay to throw people under the bus to feel better about ourselves? Not in my book.

Then today, on a comment that spurred this blog into existence, a woman told me this commenting on a photo of my son: “I remember XXX’ son having something like this, he had to be rubbed in cream all over and wrapped in bandages all the time. But by the grace of God and lots of prayer he was healed”.

Aside the fact that I am 100% certain this person’s son does not have the same diagnosis as my son, It’s insanity to imply that somehow my son is not getting God’s grace nor, according to her, is getting enough prayers. It boggles my mind how people can be so insensitive.

If this election cycle has taught me anything is how to raise my standards. I see people go so low it’s disgraceful. If any of us are going to be able to raise above and become better versions of ourselves, the work is within.

Rejecting hate is mandatory. Rejecting comparison crucial. Love is the answer.

Some of my favorite quotes come to mind:

“If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing.” ~Mark Twain
“Hate, it has caused a lot of problems in the world, but has not solved one yet.” ~Maya Angelou
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” ~Theodore Roosevelt
“For God does not show favoritism.” ~Romans 2:11 NLT 11

And my favorite from the Bible:
John 9:
1 As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth.
2 His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”
3 “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him”

Love & Light,