Yet, here we are. And I still have some dwindling hope against all odds, because it’s hard to hope when your child pushes against a very strong current. My hopes and dreams I have for my child die a little more each day as I watch him struggle to just survive. I surprise myself at the kind of person I’ve become. I literally explode when people treat my son with any degree of disrespect because he does not deserve it.Read More →

Having hope sometimes is a gigantic challenge. A challenge so unsourmantable that it leaves you in tears and gives you sleepless nights. You cry. You scream. You fall asleep in tears. But then you wake up, dust yourself off and move forward, one day at a time. One hour at a time. Focusing on the present becomes imperative. One of the reasons why I have a hard time being part of support groups in general is because there are oftenRead More →

Sometimes, when I sit down and think about it, I forget that the kind of stuff we deal with on a daily basis isn’t normal for most people. I forget, because after 20 years, they are normal for us, and even though I have a healthy child to remind me of the opposite, I choose to just live my day without comparing. Do not let anyone tell you that is foolish to have hope. It’s what keeps me going. HopeRead More →

Society as a whole is filled with nice people. I met a ton of these kind people, whose heart is filled with kindness and generosity. But I don’t live in a bubble. I know some people are cruel. I know there is hate in this world. I know there is racism, bigotry, prejudice, misogyny, homophobia and discrimination. And while I encountered this cruelty in my life before my children were born-and stillborn, I just didn’t know how real it was untilRead More →

Don’t know what to say? Google “what to say to a special needs mom” or “what to say to a bereaved mom” and you will be inundated with amazing, perfect sentences you can add to your repertoire and make you look as the most amazing, empathetic person on the planet. Try it, seriously. You no longer need to abandon your friends and families when they need you, just Google what to say. You will be their hero forever. Nicky’s formRead More →

Nicky’s inner strength is something I deeply admire. There are times that he still surprises me with his wit, the way he thinks and the way he handles things. He’s such a loving, deeply interesting boy for those that care enough and are lucky enough to get to know him. He suffers greatly as well though, and that fact can never be ignored. I took the following pictures this past month to give everyone a small glimpse of what his skinRead More →

I’ve been kind of “out of it” the past several days since the election. The day that followed I was in a daze. I cried and I couldn’t stop. The man that made fun of a disabled reporter was now president. What was I going to tell my disabled son? The man that hates immigrants was now president. I am an immigrant. But I am white, so I’m OK? Right? If I was “brown” I would not be, I wouldRead More →

It seems to me that every time I turn on the news lately there is someone telling me I should fear something. I ought to fear this, be angry at that and hate the other. I also noticed that the people that buy into this way of thinking are extremely depressed, suffer from anxiety or are somewhat… how shall I say this? A bit egotistical. Everyone is out to “get them”. Just this morning I read the news of aRead More →